Stamps of Approval

Mayor Bloomberg was responsible for a home-cooked meal last night, or maybe it was Barack. A group of young Mormons have applied and qualified for New York state food stamps. The stamps are not a necessity but instead provide weekly dinner parties. Next week is filet mignon.

Government funded private parties.

A Queens native, Catholic police officer attended the first installment of the food stamp parties. He sensed a curious audience and began story time, one after another. His Mormon crowd laughed, gasped, and beckoned him for more. Many wanted to know which neighborhood was the most dangerous, to which he said, “Where you live, Bro, [East Harlem] that’s rough. I chased down a man the other day. I had to full on football tackle the guy.” His thick accent, large eyes, and curse words captivated the audience.

An alien cop in a Mormon zoo.

He was different. The onlookers stared at the alien creature. He must have sensed the eyes trying to convert him. He leaned over in one man’s direction and quietly said, “Nobody likes cops, you know. But I’m no different than you guys. When I’m off duty and out of uniform, you know, I break laws just like you. I illegally park, litter, and whatever just like anybody, you know.” Post confession, he politely excused himself from the party.

Romans 8:21