Frank is Dead

The man to which I was referring in the post entitled, Speak With Some Frank, has been fired. The office celebrates his departure. Three co-workers have congratulated me already. It goes against my nature to cheer for a man's demise. Although, it is better that one man should perish than that an office should suffer and perish in his presence.

The workplace is quieter and kinder. The workplace no longer carries his unpleasant aroma. My screensaver actually activates when I leave my desk.

RIP Frank.

Ralphin

It is natural to contemplate life as an alternate species. In fact, many humans bear unique resemblance to specific animals. For example, someone close to me recently described me as a person with a dolphin’s body and a raccoon’s face—a Ralphin. I can’t think of two animals with greater differences. I suppose both are mammals, however.

Gratefully, my banded eyes were opened to a valuable lesson within this creature. How do others perceive you?

Science is Golden

It is widely known at work that I am a Mormon. I try to disassociate with this term as much as possible, but I am marked. All roads lead back to it. Certain superiors at work also know about my health history, and during a regular interview at work my health became a topic of discussion.

“How’s your health?” my manager asked.
“Oh, I’m just fine. Thanks for asking,” I said.
“Well, that’s good … you know, I was just curious, if you don’t mind me asking …” my manager started.
“Yes, go ahead,” I said.
“… Can you, err, are you allowed to see doctors in your religion?”
“No,” I answered, “It makes things really difficult for me.”

His face sunk and then his shoulders. He looked at me as if I were a lost child; I felt like Jett Travolta. “You know I’m joking, right?” He smiled with caution and I laughed like a Mormon.