Crash Into You

For as long as I can remember, when I have lived in Idaho Falls and had access to a gym, I have organized a weekly basketball game. In the olden days, in a time before cell phones and instant messaging, I made a list of acceptable players and collected their phone numbers. It was grueling work calling each person and even more difficult to obtain any level of commitment. It was not uncommon to receive a comment like, "I will try to make it," or, "Yeah, I'll probably be there."

Nowadays, I send out a mass text and patiently wait for replies. The text usually reads something like, "Bball @ 9 tonight @ Charlotte. R U coming, yes or no? Doors will be locked at 9:15." Oddly, I receive quite a bit of resistance with this method as well, maybe more. It must be too much to ask, because I frequently receive similar ambiguity. Worse, many people give no response to the text and still have the gall to show up unannounced. Even worse still, some people show up without receiving an invitation at all: Basketball Crashers (BC).

On rare occasions, due to their extreme lack of common sense, a BC (often remarkably similar to a CB) obtains national notoriety. I can think of two such people: Chip Douglas and Jackie Moon. Laughter can accompany a BC, but eventually it is drowned out by sheer stupidity. So, for the good that they do bring, I can only think of one course of action to repay each Basketball Crasher to whom I am indebted. I will make a surprise visit to their weddings, anniversaries, and birthdays. Lastly, I will hold the hand of the woman who gives them children as she is giving birth to a new, improved generation of crasher. As a Birth Crasher, I will coach her threw it with patience. When the child arrives, I will take it in my arms and whisper, "I out-crashed your father."

It remains a mystery how a Basketball Crasher knows when a game is taking place, but I am almost certain it has something to do with Aurora Borealis.

Feel-O-Saw-Four

To Creationists, agency, the freedom to choose, is a gift from God. To an Evolutionist, it is a natural element of life. Regardless of point-of-view, agency is the engine of life. My life, a mix of Joseph and Charles, has been full of choices, most of which I have faced with logic and rationale.

There are rare occasions, however, when action is taken without respect to agency. During this state of indecision, divine intervention or natural selection, life moves forward. In this sense, it is a blessing to be acted upon.

The greatest blessings in my life are direct results to decisions made beyond my reason, logic, and control.

The majority of life is spent reasoning and rationalizing. When reason and logic cannot help, it is then when man lives.

Suspicious Secret

Someone knows something, a secret. This person is divulging information to people responsible for hiring me, or in most cases right now, not hiring me. It simply cannot be a streak of bad luck. Once, maybe. Twice, a little odd. Three times, shame on you!

ABC4 and CW30, a local ABC affiliate in Salt Lake City, advertised an opening for Research Director. I responded to the ad, and with my Nielsen TV experience, I was selected for an interview. I cleaned myself up and headed south, only after about a month of exchanging emails, phone interviews, and proving myself time and time again. After I arrived in SLC and just prior to my interview, I received a call, "Chase, my general manager has decided to take an alternate route. We are canceling the position. I just wanted to call you before you made the trip all the way down here." Gee thanks.

Big Dog Satellite, a Dish Network provider in Idaho Falls, called me to interview for a management position for a new office on the east side of town. I was hesitant to accept the invitation, but I did accept. I showered, shaved, and did the other "S" and suddenly received a phone call, "Chase, one of my guys is sick today, so I am short-handed. We will have to reschedule it. I will call you in a few days." I received no such call.

Idahoan, you know, that company that makes, packages, and sells fake potatoes, phoned me for an interview yesterday. Actually, it was an employment agency that contacted me. I was a little surprised because I had not initiated any communication in this case - a sign that things were too good to be true. Once again, I took care of the three "S's." I took my keys from the kitchen counter and headed for my car in the garage ... ring, ring, buzz, buzz. "Chase, Idahoan just called and wants to hold off for a week or so, and they might also rethink this position."

Please, whoever you are, stop telling people whatever evil secret you are telling them.

WTF.