Operation

I need money to finance my extracirricular business ventures. Naturally, in times like this, I turn to easy-money Casino Arizona. Has there ever existed a place where money comes so easily? I have serious doubts. The last eight visits have rewarded positive returns.

OperationMo: It appears that a Mormon reality TV show is immient. However, the focus may have to change from the religion itself to a specific individual. Easy, done.

OperationRP: The website that will change the world (at least my world) is nearing completion. Watch out, Nielsen! Your monopoly may soon end.

There are other operations that are just too private to share.

I'm Single And ...

Note: Several production companies (including FreMantle and Pie Town Productions) and TV networks (including Bravo and Oxygen) have sidestepped this Idahoan gem: YSA - a Mormon reality TV show. Retweet, FB post, share, shout from the rooftops, my friends. Mormon reality TV is coming soon. Help make it happen!

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Don’t you think it’s amateur to begin writing with a question? I do. Oh my, those words are frightening, “I do.” No thanks, I don’t. Those of us that choose, “I don’t,” are not the residue or the surplus. We are the not so few, the proud, the single, and in almost every culture, we are growing. A shift from the norm.

This is evident in one culture in particular, Mormons. In fact, there are two distinguished classes of single Mormons. If unmarried and between the ages of 18-30, you are considered a Young Single Adult. If unmarried and over 30 years old, you are considered a Single Adult, young no more. Thanks to Governor Romney, The BOM Musical, and Mr. Dynamite, mainstream Mormonism is quite relevant right now, but being single and Mormon is something entirely different and unique. What is the best way to understand a phenomenon like this? Well, of course, the answer is simple: reality TV.

Think, “Jersey Shore meets Jesus.” For those of you thinking instead, “I’m going to steal this idea and make millions,” you are too late. I’m almost certain someone else will beat you to it. But as a safeguard, I have written and registered a television pitch with the Writer’s Guild of America. So, if you dare to try, I will squash you with my large legal team. FreMantle Media, here I come … or anyone else out there that is willing to take a chance.

If you think Snooki has problems, wait until you see Miss Molly Mormon. Molly may act more appropriately in public, but her private life, her psyche, and her peculiar lifestyle and beliefs will breed hysteria in a home stuffed with sin-free Unmarried Mormons. Beware; whether by mine hand or another, Single Mormon drama will soon invade your home. And so it will come to pass …

Dr. King Would Be Proud

After a splendid meal with Uncle Gordon, I realized it was time for me to arrive ... time to give thanks, to acheive greater things, to conquer the world. So I drove home and fell asleep for a few hours. Upon awakening, I knew what must be done. Where else can one go to make all dreams come true? And who knew that Three Card Poker could be so much fun? Not I. The ante bonus paid me 8 to 1 on a straight flush: 7, 8, and 9 of diamonds.

It is true that winning money can be stimulating. Shoot, losing money can be, too. The joy of smalltime, Native American Casinos for me, however, resides in the mixed company:

Jimmy – an Asian dealer with fanciful stories told in broken English (aka Jackie Chan)
Nice Lady – drunk boomer with a soft listening ear (she absolved me of my sins)
Friends – win or lose, they still support and heckle me
Cocktail Waitresses – rarely attractive, always busty

I could go on, of course, but I think my point has been sufficiently proven. Isn’t it obvious? The experience and ambiance of a Native American Casino is a taste of heaven.